Technopathic Technical Support

Tank: I need heals!
Healer: CHAIN CELESTIAL HEALING!!!

Hail the mighty Agent Sinzan.


Selben:
 More DPS! More DPS!
Raid: We are!

With a flick of a tail from the dragon, everyone was dead.

Selben let out a sigh as his lifeless digital body fell to the ground.

Tank: We trying again?
Healer: I’m tired!!!

Selben looked at the time… 4:00am. Whoops!

Selben: Let’s call it for now. See you all later!

An hour later Selben arrived at work for the early shift. He had lost track of time and stayed up all night (again) playing his favorite game, EverQuest. After stopping in the IT kitchen for the glorious nectar of IT coffee, he sat at his desk, rubbed his bleary eyes, and started going through his queue.

Luckily most of the day consisted of small reporting issues that could be fixed without direct human interaction, and only sending the occasional email of “Try it now.” Throughout the day, Sup1 and a Peer kept walking back and forth through the office, with their voices escalating as the day progressed. Deciding to not voluntarily get involved, Selben avoided eye contact.

Towards the end of his shift, Selben felt a presence standing close behind, and realized his uneventful day was about to be interrupted. He slowly rotated his chair to find Sup1 looking angry, and Peer staring at the ground.

Sup1: Tell him!
Peer: Uh, well… A user couldn’t connect to the WIFI.
Selben: Okay, and?
Peer: He was at home and I… Well, I walked him through un-installing the driver, except I forgot to have him download the new one first.
Selben: Can he connect to the wired network?
Sup1: No! He’s on the road. That’s totally unacceptable!
Selben: Well, when he gets somewhere else we can work with him then.

Sup1 grinned evilly happily.

Sup1: YOU will meet him at the airport to work on the laptop!

Sup1 looked very pleased with himself for this plan.

Selben: Who is it?
Sup1: It’s VP!

Armed with minimal information about the actual laptop in question, Selben downloaded drivers for nearly every machine the company used before driving two hours through heavy traffic to get to the airport. Sup1 had arranged for them to meet just outside the security gates at the airport. Selben dozed off and on in his seat while waiting for the (of course) delayed flight. He had been up for at least 27 hours by the time he spotted VP.

Selben: Hi, I’m here from Company to work on your WIFI issue.
VP: Great. This has been such a pain. I think it started after I switched to this new internet web page. You know all about those internet pages, right?
Selben: Uh, sure.

Selben just smiled and patiently waited for VP to pull out his laptop as he rambled about “those internet web pages.” He pulled out his own laptop to check if there was a connection at the airport, just in case he needed one of the few drivers he didn’t download. He slowly turned to see VP staring over his shoulder.

VP: Now what?

Selben’s eye twitched slightly. Lack of sleep was catching up with him, dangerously affecting his patience.

Selben: Your laptop?
VP: What about it?
Selben: Can you get it out?
VP: Out of where? My house?

The trip was a complete waste. VP had left his computer back at his home and somehow assumed IT would be able to fix it. Why he agreed to meet Selben at the airport, no one ever figured out. A few days later, they were able to get VP to use a wired connection and get remotely connected. The issue was fixed within 30 seconds.