Hotel of Wireless Horror

Thunder sounded, and lightning flashed, causing the lights to flicker and create shadows on the high ceilings. An older styled chandelier clinked as it swayed from the breeze of doors opening and closing. The room had that strong odor you get when too many people are in the same place B.O., mixed with stale coffee.

Selben was at the entrance of the room. He was sitting behind a rickety collapsible table supplied by the hotel. Sup1 had created a banner which was hung on the table: “Meet and Greet IT!” in Comic Sans. Selben shuddered as he tried to take another sip of the stale coffee-like brew, the burnt taste making his tongue recoil. The Company was having a sales conference and Sup1 had come up with the idea to have someone from IT be there to have a “presence” and introduce some upcoming plans. Unsurprisingly, it had turned into everyone asking for IT support. Selben was alone so he had to tackle them all on his own.

User after user kept coming up, but he finally got a break when the actual meeting started. With only stale bagels and burnt coffee around, Selben was just waiting for it all to end. His countdown to escaping was interrupted when the doors opened back up and one of the sales VPs approached him.

VP: The internet on my laptop stopped working. I need the slides in my email!

Selben: No problem. Let me take a look—uh, what is this?

VP: This is my “Travel” laptop!

Selben: Oh… I see.

The machine was more than several years old, and in dire need of the embrace of death a reinstall, more memory and a modern processor, at minimum. On the edge of Selben’s vision, he saw several other users walked towards the table, but thankfully left when they saw that Selben was busy. The machine crawled. A password prompt came up, and the VP snatched the machine and mashed in his password. A prompt to restart also appeared on his screen, and like an infuriated bull he clicked ‘restart’ before Selben had time to react. After what felt like an eternity (5 minutes), the machine finally rebooted, and he was able to determine what was wrong.

Selben: It looks like the hotel’s Wi-Fi is down, we’ll need to let them know.

Selben hurried over to the front desk and asked to speak with their IT department. The front desk was insistent everything was working fine. Selben pointed out she was wired directly to the network and had to explain that the wireless network was separate. Eventually he managed to get her to call, and their local IT appeared instantly from around the corner.

Buddy: Hey bud! Let’s look and see what we can do.

Selben: I just need you to reboot the wireless, it’s not working.

Buddy: I’m not getting any errors. Let’s go look at your machines, maybe you’re on the wrong network.

Selben’s eye twitched.

Selben: I’m…

Selben bit his lip and showed him VP’s laptop, which he had brought with him.

Buddy: Oh, okay, I see whatcha mean there, bud!

Selben’s eye twitch intensified.

Buddy: Okay, it’s rebooted. You should be good to go!

Selben: Thanks.

Selben returned to his spot to find 15 angry zombies salesmen all standing around where his table was. It was laying broken on the floor, with a pile of laptops on and around it. Apparently, they all had network issues (which were now resolved) and had brought their laptops to the IT table. Seeing Selben gone, they started piling them on top of the table. The collapsible table did exactly what it was (debatably) designed to do and collapsed. Three screens were lost in the fall.


Hope you enjoyed my IT nightmare, happy Halloween!