IT Newbie and the Full Lotus

The last empty box was disposed of. The cool morning air helped to keep Selben from sweating much, but he still looked bedraggled from the effort of bringing 40+ computer boxes out to the dumpster. Back inside, he slumped back down in his chair intent on returning to his normal duties. Before he could even open the managing tools, Soda popped his head around the corner.

Soda: Can you ping Location71?
Selben: Uh, I’ll check.

No response from the location. He shook his head no, but saw Soda’s headset was lit up. He was on his morning conference call, so Selben took the initiative. He tried calling the location, only to receive no response, including no voicemail. Checking the location’s network history, it looked like they had been regularly going down twice a week for the past several months. He emailed the information over to Soda.

Selben had returned to his regular work when he heard the jingle of keys. Looking up, he saw Soda with his coat and big stupid grin.

Soda: Time to investigate!

They headed over in the van. The steady rattle of some loose tools in the back was only slightly quieter than Soda chatting on about the new fondue maker his wife had just gotten, and all the different types of cheese you could melt in it. After a long drive, made worse by morning traffic, they arrived at Location71. They walked up to the door and headed inside. Everyone was working, and appeared normal. The front desk employee looked puzzled at their existence as they approached.

Reception: Welcome to Location71. How can I help you?
Soda: We’re from the helpdesk. We saw you’ve had a few network outages recently, including one earlier. We tried to call but got no answer, so we came over to check it out.

Reception checked the phone on her desk, and opened a webpage on her computer. Everything was working fine. Soda and Selben went to check the network equipment anyway. Walking past the kitchen, they were pleased to note there was no longer a password on the wall, but instead a motivational poster of a puppy stretching. They opened the small walk-in cupboard where the network equipment was stored next to the kitchen. Coffee filters, snacks and some foam mats were also stored in the same space, which made it difficult to get inside. Naturally Selben was sent in. After some dexterous movements, Selben was able to confirm everything was fine. They headed out, not sure what to make of the downtime.

Things went normally the rest of the week. Selben checked on the location’s network and saw no issues until Friday morning. Selben was nursing a cup of coffee while reading his emails when on his second screen he saw Location71 go down again. He stood up to tell Soda, but he was already at the door.

Soda: Let’s go!

They managed to get to the location in record time (it was Friday after all). Walking up to the door, they saw the lights were off. Trying the door, Selben found it locked. Soda pulled out his cell and tried to call Genius, the location manager, but no answer. Noticing a donut shop across the street, they had a snack while they waited for some form of life to appear at Location71. Selben was puzzled by the whole situation, and even Soda admitted he wasn’t sure what was going on since the employees’ cars were in the parking lot.

They scouted out the area for an hour before they saw the lights turn on and a receptionist unlock the front glass door. They headed back over to see everyone working, just like it should be…

After interrogating asking Genius what was going on from 7am – 8am, it was discovered the entire office had been doing Yoga / Meditation as a team building exercise twice a week for several months. However, Genius was sick of phone calls and other ‘auditory interruptions’, so he had everyone unplug all phones, power down all electronics, including the router and switches, and turn off the lights. Soda sighed, and recommended leaving at least one phone on in the event of an emergency, and to not power down the network equipment as it could cause confusion and many other issues for the company.