This story takes place in a game called Vanguard: Saga of Heroes (RIP =( ). The characters involved include myself and my then girlfriend (now wife!), Zirq. For those who never played Vanguard, it was heralded (like all new MMORPGs) “Groundbreaking” and “Most Advanced!” etc. As such, it had countless bugs and other issues. I seemed to have a knack for finding said bugs, which often got me into some interesting situations.
Selben and Zirq had been grinding (killing monsters with minor questing) late into the morning night and woke up in a haze the next day, ready for more adventure. Selben signed on to work on one of his plethora of tradeskills so he could earn some in game money for gear. To his surprise, Zirq was already online.
Selben: Hey! What are you doing on already?
Zirq: I got my boat!
Selben: Huzzah! Can I captain a little?
Zirq: Sure, but we’ll need to get to the ocean first. This lake I’m on is way too small.
Selben: Okay, let’s go!
They started traveling. Being pretty far inland, it was going to take a while. Selben checked his map and saw a nearby river leading straight to the ocean. He came up with a brilliant plan.
Selben: Let’s drop the boat in the river and take it down!
Zirq: Alright!
The boat worked mostly flawlessly. They quickly safely passed high level mobs and other players along the shores, some waving as they went by.
Selben: We’re almost there, can I take over?!
Zirq: Yeah, here you go.
Zirq backed off the helm of the small craft. Selben took over and continued a bit longer down the river. Just ahead, things started to look a little strange, like the water ended… Much too late, he realized it was a massive waterfall!
Zirq: Uh oh…
They plummeted down the waterfall The boat remained upright as it fell. The physics of the game didn’t seem to know how to handle this scenario. Just as the boat should have crashed into the water below the waterfall. it continued falling and warped onto the bottom of the ocean, far from where they had been, and then de-summoned itself. Selben and Zirq were left standing at the bottom of the ocean not needing to breath and but also unable to swim.
Zirq: Why do you always find the bugs?
Selben: I’m reporting it now!