The previous contract had ended, but an extension had been offered for Soda to finish off the project he had taken over was assisting with. With the aid of Soda’s contacts, another month-long gig to assist on a helpdesk at a different company was found for Selben. It included filling the position of a tech on a leave of absence at a medium sized sales company. Selben was placed on phone support for internal employees, most of which worked remote, and needed basic help for things like setting up email on phones, printer installs, network outages, and other basic troubleshooting. Things were going fairly normal until…
“Thank you for calling, this is Selben. How can I help you?”
“This is Mr. Goof. I can’t get email on my phone!”
“Okay, I can help with that. Am I talking with you on that phone?
“Of course not! I’m not stupid, this is a landline!”
“Sorry for the misunderstanding. I’m just trying to determine if you have a signal and network connectivity on your phone.”
“It’s fine, just no email!”
“Okay, have you tried rebooting or asking anyone on the same network if they are also having issues?”
“Really?! Just fix it!”
“I’m trying, but because I’m not there, I need you to be my hands, so I need you—”
“I can’t get email on my laptop either!”
“Are you somewhere with network access?”
“Yes, I have Wi-Fi. Look, if you don’t just reset my password, I’m going to quit!”
“I am so sorry about that. One moment, let me check something on my side.”
Selben found he couldn’t add the user to the ticket… Ah, there’s the issue.
“I found the problem. Your manager is the one you need to talk with for help you.”
“Really?! What B%# S#%@! You stay on the phone and wait right there!”
“I—”
The silence of being put on hold caused Selben’s ears to fill with dread as he waited. After a minute or so, Mr. Goof and another voice returned.
Beep
“Hello?” Selben asked.
“This is Mr. VIP. Who is this? What is going on? This better be important!”
“Please hold, let me get someone else in here to sort this C#% out!” Mr. Goof said.
“What? Mr. Goof, what are you…?”
“He put us on hold again. I think he’s conferencing in someone else.”
The VIP sighed. “Okay, does he know?”
“I told him to talk to his manager.”
Beep
The IT lead was added to the conversation. “Hello?”
“Sorry boss,” Selben apologized.
“One more. I’m sick of dealing with this terrible service!”
“What’s happening?!” the IT lead was lost.
Beep
“Uh, hello?” Mr. Goof’s manager was now in the call.
“Okay everyone! This Selben guy refuses to reset my password or even acknowledge anything is wrong. He told me to go bother my boss instead of helping me, so I pulled in my Boss, my boss’s boss and his boss in so we can settle this properly! I will not tolerate someone passing the buck!”
“I’m so sorry everyone has been dragged into this. Mr. Goof, let’s meet for lunch and talk about this.” Mr. Goof’s manager said.
“Ah, yea let’s just—” the VIP tried to agree.
“What the…! No, let’s settle this now. No more s&#!
“Mr. Goof.”
“Yes, VIP?”
“You were fired this morning. We were going to tell you over lunch. That s%#@ you pulled with one of your clients last week? They told us the whole thing. You’re lucky they aren’t pressing charges. Everyone else, go ahead and disconnect.”
“What, but I—”
Selben, while sorely tempted to listen in, disconnected from the call.
Selben finished closing the ticket. “Customer was terminated this morning. No further assistance required from helpdesk.”