I was taking a much-needed break after working on a bathroom remodel since early in the morning. Finding my wife left her Xbox on, I stopped to see what game she had been playing. I immediately grabbed the controller when I saw the title screen for Sea of Thieves. I had missed all beta sessions and was anxious to see what all the fuss was about. The character was my wife’s and did not properly reflect a character I would play myself, so I opted to change my name in spirit to First Mate Togepi.
Having no idea how to play Togepi opted to do a solo ship, not wanting to disappoint any teammates until he got his bearings. He appeared on the starting island and ran all over trying to figure out what he was supposed to do. Eventually Togepi found his ship and headed out to sea.
First Mate Togepi had no quests or goals other than not hitting any islands or rocks. Togepi was able to get his mighty sloop under control, with only occasionally looking straight up or down due to being unused to a controller rather than a keyboard and mouse. Things were smooth sailing.
Before long, Togepi spotted another ship anchored near a small island. As Togepi aligned his ship and manned the canon, a faint sound could be heard. Unsure if the just the game or a voice from another pirate, he held back from firing to listen. A moment later, he could hear that fabled prepubescent voice screaming.
“JEREMY! THERE’S A SHIP COMING!”
BOOM! Togepi fired his first shot, nailing the enemy vessel.
“JEREMY ITS SHOOTING AT US GO GO GO!!!”
BOOM!!! Another solid hit!
The other ship began to pull away from the island. It was a galleon and had far superior firepower, however Togepi had started the engagement temporarily giving him an advantage.
Several more shots were exchanged. Seeing the galleon look like it was taking on water, and only receiving one shot himself, Togepi was feeling cocky and mocked them.
“This be First Mate Togepi. Prepare t’meet the bottom of the deep blue!”
“Uhm, if you’re alone, wouldn’t you be captain?”
Togepi paused for a moment, contemplating his self-worth. Finding it easier to not dwell on, he quickly dismissed the thought and fired his canon again.
BOOM! The impact caused an enemy crew member to fly off the deck, splashing into the water.
“JEREMY NOOO!!!”
The enemy galleon turned, leaving Togepi unable to hit the target. He abandoned the cannon and scrambled to get up to the wheel, but the ocean had turned a blood-like red. The waves became massive and he lost sight of the galleon. Reaching the wheel, he tried to turn back to where he had started, but the sails had almost no wind to them, and the ship began to slowly sink. Feeling he had earned the right, he had a short ceremony pronouncing himself the captain of the vessel. Captain Togepi went down with the ship, down into the dark abyss.
Then I was told I had wasted enough time and went back to tiling the bathroom, while recounting the tales of the mighty Togepi to my wife!